Looking for a Bargain

Today we had a garage sale. We decided last weekend that it was time, worked all week to pull things (read: excavate things!) from closets, drawers, and other dusty places. It was definitely worth it in the end. We made 500 bucks off of our junk, only carted one trash bag of leftovers to Goodwill, picked up some funny stories, and learned a few key lessons about garage sales and life in general.

First of all, garage sale regulars are a fun lot of people. Our sale started at 8:00. At 6:45 when we were standing in the still-empty driveway, a man in a pickup leaned out of his window at the top of our driveway and shouted, "Are you open?" I shouted back, "Do you see any stuff yet?" I'm a crabapple in the morning to put it nicely. He parked and came down anyway. He wanted military stuff or guns. We had neither. So he chatted us up about himself for 5 minutes while we dragged stuff out. At this point, it was only 7:00 and there were 5 other people in our driveway already. Umm, the ad I put in the paper said 8:00. People are eager and also cheaters kind of. I felt bad for the people who would show up at 8 when there would be nothing left. This was Lesson #1: If you advertise for 8, either get your stuff out at 6 or make people go away and come back. Our goal was to have it all out and then shut the actual garage door so people couldn't see our stuff plus the door that leads into our house. I'm paranoid about people breaking in through the garage, plus I didn't want people to see all of Will's garage stuff because they'd either ask to buy it or come back when we aren't home and steal it. I know this is sort of a cynical way to think about people but whatever. "Sorry I'm not sorry." (That's a quote straight from Rachel Wilkerson. Love her blog, love her whole idea of "owning it." Been saying "Sorry I'm not sorry" all week and well, loving it.)

After one major faux pas when I lost all sense of clarity and almost sold the guitar my dad gave me when I was in 9th grade for $30 dollars, the whole thing settled down and moved along smoothly. Thankfully an old man told Will to not let me sell the guitar. I appreciate that man. He must have been able to sense that I was having a little heartache over the idea of not having that guitar in my closet anymore. That was Lesson #2: Make sure you really want to sell your stuff. To make up for being a poor saleswoman, I gave the guy who wanted it an old digital camera for two bucks. He got off with a steal. That's the point of a garage sale--You get robbed more or less, but you can't let your sentimental stuff go with the thieves; that stuff you have to hang on to. Lesson learned.

Our chickens in the backyard were a huge hit for lots of people. We explained that we had them for egg laying and no, they don't make too much noise, etc. etc. to just about every other person who showed up. Lesson #3: Hide your chickens or be prepared to become a novelty.

A couple funny moments, included a lady with big white hair declaring to everyone, "I LOVE to hear hens sing!" Then, she started clucking (singing) like a hen and kind of danced around. Another good moment was when a lady was looking at Will's terracotta pot collection. Her husband asked if there was anything she'd like. Her response, "Well, I really needed a big one for the graveyards." Hmmmm. In my head I pictured her using the pots as graveyards for critters--hamsters, fish, birds, or whatever. Will and I discussed this, and he assured me that she was probably going to put them on grave sites with flower arrangements. That seems weird to me too because most graves have a little copper vase. I know this because people often steal the copper. Another woman, who was a short little round lady, tried on one of my old sweaters. It was a petite small--too small for me too, but I'd gotten it super cheap I think. She couldn't fit her arm in it. As she was pulling it off, she explained that she's a 12 petite which she said was an oxymoron and then continued to explain that her body was the shape of a square. I pictured Spongebob Squarepants, even though she looked nothing like him. She went on and on. I could tell Will was uncomfortable. Finally, she walked away. I guess the only other funny thing was when this lady was looking at a box of leftover tile that Will had marked for $3. She said, "How about a dollar?" Will told her it was definitely worth $3. In my head I was thinking, it was worth more like $25 but whatever. She laughed though and said, "Well I know it's worth $3, but it's a garage sale. I'm supposed to ask for it cheaper." Well, duh! Lesson #4: Everybody is looking for a bargain.