On Being Important.

Yesterday morning on Today, John Mayer performed. Mixed feelings about ol John, but I kind of have this whole theory about people and John Mayer seemed to make it all make sense. Shocking.

In my dealings with people, I've come to tag some as having “self-appointed importance.”

We all have these moments of self-appointed importance. Example: Things are going well at work all because of some amazing project you pulled off, so you appoint yourself to the important squad and go around like people owe you. Going around like people owe you can include any or all of the following:

1. Not saying good morning to people you work with every, single day.
2. Having slightly crazy condescending reactions to people who meant no harm.
3. Expecting to be included in all the goings on about all the goings on.
4. Okay, I can’t think of anymore, but you get the drift.

So for a few days you go about with your self-appointed importance and feeling like the world owes you. The funniest part about this is that when you have deemed yourself a member of the important squad, you think everyone owes you—the people you work with, live with, are friends with, shop with, drive on the road with, etc.

Suddenly though, out of nowhere, something happens to challenge your importance. Examples:

1.Your boss gives you a stink-eye look in a meeting.
2. Your spouse or significant other calls you on how you just yelled about how he or she didn’t put the grapes in the right place in the refrigerator.
3. Your friend hangs up on you when you start using your condescending tone about things she was just hoping to casually chat about.
4. You trip on the stairs and everyone sees what color underoos you are wearing that day.

So what do you do? You go home and after drinking a couple of glasses of wine, you regain your clarity and realize that you in fact are not important. You definitely thought you were important, but it was YOU who decided you were. Solution: You need to take it down a notch on the I’m-so-awesome ladder and just hang with the humble crowd. Humility is good.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this self-appointed importance lately not becasue anything has happened that was terrible, but just because I have been. Over the last year or two I’ve become very attuned to when I appoint myself to the important squad. I don’t usually realize until I have tripped on the stairs, but I’m getting pretty good at recognizing it now, even though sometimes it can be too late. It happens every so often and I feel like crap for a day or so until I realize that I let it happen. Ahhh, the freedom of realizing your choices could have changed everything. So, I have actually kept myself out of the important squad for quite a while because it only takes a few times of getting burned before you start to figure out the formula and grind to a halt before placing your important squad name badge on your chest.

So how does John Mayer play into all this? In response to Matt Lauer’s question about what he’s learned since he’s been in the news for some not so amazing reasons in recent months, he said, “Don’t talk to see if you have something to say.” Oh, see that's sort of a smart line and made me think that maybe just possibly, he gets it (at the moment at least during his TV interview.) See, he appointed himself to the important squad, he wore his badge all proud and out loud, and he did a lot more than trip on the stairs at his place of business. He’s one of those people who talk and talk and talk, hoping to sound brilliant and privileged and above it all. But today, my hope was restored that maybe he’ll turn out right or go back to being the your-body-is-a- wonderland type of guy after all.

So, what have we learned?

1.Take off your important squad badge.
2.Be humble.
3.Be quiet and listen before you talk just to make sure you actually have something worthwhile to say.

All that from John Mayer. Like I said, shocking.